John Brucher was jokester who commanded respect

WATERLOO — Jacki Brucher Moore watched the butter make its way around the dinner table, passing from one hand to the next.

It kept going, never stopping after someone used it. Around and around it went.

“You never knew who was going to get annoyed by the passing of the food,” Jacki said.

It was an old story turned into a modern-day tradition. Jacki’s father, John P. Brucher, told her about the time he pulled the joke on his own father, a stoic man who became so frustrated that he stuck his thumb into the gooey yellow condiment.

“And then the whole table just erupted in laughter because they had done this just deliberately to get a reaction out of grandpa,” Jacki recalled.

John died April 28 at Living Center West in Cedar Rapids from COVID-19 complications. He was 81. Having grown up in Waterloo, John graduated from Waterloo West High School in 1957. He lived in the Philippines briefly when his father was stationed there for the U.S. Army.

A U.S. Marine and Waterloo police officer himself, John was known to be assertive, sometimes hot-tempered with a raised voice. He always gained respect from others, including at H&W Motor Express, where he drove freight trucks for 30 years. He cared deeply about making money to support his family.

His commanding presence was matched with lighthearted humor.

“If you didn’t have a thick skin, he wasn’t going to be your favorite person,” Jacki said.

As a member of the El Kahir Shrine, a local chapter in Hiawatha for a fraternal organization, John would transform into a sad-face clown named Patch. He made balloon animals for kids and walked in parades throughout Iowa.

“Here’s this clown who’s really your dad, and you know that, but it’s a secret and you can’t tell anybody,” Jacki said of going to parades as a child. “It was pretty cool.”

He was happiest when spending time with his sheltie Shelby, who laid to the left his recliner. His arm would extend over the side of the chair to pet her. Other times, he laid on the floor while the dog jumped on his back, playfully nipping at him.

In the backyard were antennas to fuel his amateur radio hobby. He enjoyed fishing and hunting when Jacki was young.

In his later years, John lived with his wife of more than 50 years at Bridges Senior Living in Waterloo. He received treatment for dementia, and she managed COPD, a lung disease.

A retired nurse, John’s wife Sandra Nichols wanted to take care of him, but she had to be moved to an apartment to lessen her stress. It could worsen her condition.

After being moved into hospice, Sandra died in March. Then John’s senior living facility closed when COVID-19 started to spread. Jacki could not visit him.

“I think the biggest blessing for both of them is that he never knew that she passed away, and she never knew that he got COVID,” Jacki said.

The two met when introduced by friends. John called a mutual friend to ask for her phone number, and then he asked her on a date.

“They just kind of fit together,” Jacki said. “He would just sort of state what he thought, and she would suggest another way. She was very good at persuading him, often when no one else could.”

Jacki’s mom was often the mediator between her daughter and husband, whose similar personalities created tension between them for some time.

But Jacki remembers the patient role model who taught her to drive; the father who showed her the right way to mow the lawn; the man who kept a basket of tools to shine his shoes regularly; and the person who closed drapes in the middle of the day to turn on a lamp. 

His presence is felt through a black-and-white photo of Jacki’s 5-year-old hand on his, the frame sitting in a collection in her new Cedar Rapids home where she plans to hang it up.

“It was always important to me to have my dad’s approval, and I didn’t always recognize it … because he didn’t say it,” Jacki said. “I admired him, and I don’t think that I ever did a good job of that either, of telling him that I respected him and I admired him and I thought he was a good dad. I think we both figured that out later in life because we had a good relationship in the end.”

John is survived by three other children, Jim Brucher, David Brucher and Ken Brucher, as well as four grandchildren and a twin brother, James Brucher.