“Tonight we have a mute button because it was either that or tranquilizer darts.”
That’s how Maya Rudolph — as moderator Kristen Welker — kicked off this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live.”
The NBC variety show opened its latest episode with Alec Baldwin’s Trump taking on Jim Carrey’s Joe Biden in the final presidential debate.
“How’s this mute button work?” asked Carrey’s Biden. “Do I just haul off and slap him in the mouth?”
Baldwin’s Trump then took questions from the moderator, but confused her as his waitress.
“Mr. Trump, I’m the moderator, not your waitress,” Rudolph’s Welker said.
“Okay, just some waters then,” Baldwin’s Trump responded.
He then said that the country was doing “terrific” in terms of coronavirus.
“We’re rounding the corner. In fact, we’ve rounded so many corners, we’ve gone all the way around the block and back to where we started in March,” Baldwin’s Trump said.
Carrey’s Biden then starting spouting off responses to his opponent, saying “c’mon, man” and calling the remarks “malarkey.”
“And we have our first malarkey,” Rudolph’s Welker said. “If you’re playing Biden Bingo at home, take a shot.”
The debate went back and forth between the two, touching on subjects like when a coronavirus vaccine may show up.
“I guarantee the vaccine is coming. Somewhere between two and 700 weeks, ok?” Baldwin’s Trump said.
Other subjects like health care, race and climate change also came up.
“I have a plan. It’s called ‘Bidencare.’ It’s like Obamacare, but… Biden,” Carrey’s Biden said.
Rudolph’s Welker then posed her final question for the two candidates: “What will you say to Americans who did not vote for you?”
“Well, if they didn’t vote for me, I guess I’d say, ‘hola,'” Baldwin’s Trump said.
As for Carrey’s Biden, he made it clear who he is, compared to Trump.
“I’m good old Joe. I’m reliable as a rock,” he said. “I got a five-star safety rating. I’m ranked best mid-size in my class by J.D. Power and Associates.”
Rudolph’s Welker then took the stage to say, “Good luck, America!” and call out the show’s signature catch phrase: “Live… From New York! It’s Saturday night!”
Singer Adele hosted the show, and H.E.R. was the musical guest.
Regulators authorized AstraZeneca’s coronavirus vaccine for use in adults throughout the European Union on Friday, amid criticism the bloc is not moving fast enough to vaccinate its population.
WASHINGTON (AP) — A former FBI lawyer was sentenced to probation for altering an email that the Justice Department relied on during its surveillance of an aide to President Donald Trump during the Russia investigation.
MADISON, Wis. (AP) — Democratic Gov. Tony Evers lashed out Friday at rival Republicans who tried to repeal his statewide mask mandate, saying killing the order would be a ridiculous move comparable to abolishing speed limits.
COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — As some conservatives in South Carolina celebrated getting a bill that would ban almost all abortions in the state past a legislative barrier and likely becoming law, they said they are not finished trying to end all abortions.
A Moscow court on Friday put the brother and several allies of Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny under house arrest for two months as authorities sought to stymie more protests over the jailing of the top Kremlin foe.